Richard surprised me on Mother's Day with a trip to our little Matthias' grave. It was exactly what my heart was longing for, and he knew it! The day before, Richard had been giving the boys their summer haircuts and all of a sudden God gave me an image in my mind of almost-five-year-old Matthias getting his summer haircut too. I saw him standing there with his brothers, waiting for his turn on the chair, then enjoying his post-haircut sucker. It was so strikingly clear for just a moment, and it pierced my heart. Although it made my heart ache with sadness and longing for Matthias, it was also a gift...
So on Sunday we brought a picnic lunch to the graveyard where Matthias is buried and tended his grave. Last year we installed his headstone and I love how it looks, with his little hand prints and foot prints.
The grass had overgrown it a bit and it needed to be wiped off, so we took some time to tend it. It was a sweet time and I was blessed by the whole day. Mother's Day in this fallen world holds many tears and much heartache, as well as joy, for many people. For me there will always be the joy that comes from the fullness and blessings of my earthly children, and the sadness and longing for my little Matthias who I held so briefly.
