Funny, weird and slightly disgusting things I've caught myself saying to the Boy lately, none of which I ever said to Grace when she was two:
"Please stop saying, 'I love poop' ".
"Moses, say you're sorry for biting Sissy on the butt."
"Moses, look!" [in a super excited voice] "The garbage truck!!"
"Judah doesn't like it when you stick your finger all the way down his throat."
"I love it when you drink your milk instead of gargling it".
"Moses, did you poop on the floor?"
"Yes, that's a very nice bug. Let's put it outside."
"Please stop eating bread crusts out of the garbage."
"Yeah! Your pee went in the toilet!"
What funny things have you found yourself saying to your child that you never thought would come out of your mouth before you were a parent?