Thursday, August 6, 2009

Remembering Matthias

It will be four years on Sunday since our sweet baby Matthias left our arms and went to the arms of Jesus, and as always this is a hard week, and month, for me. The memories flood back so quickly and although I am not walking through that intense pain anymore (thank God that He brings us through that to a place of healing!), even the memory of it is painful. I feel sure that there will be a deep sadness in my heart forever, until the day when "He will wipe away every tear from our eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain." (Revelation 21:4) Until then I hold a grief that has been comforted but not erased.

Yesterday was Matthias' due date and I remember it coming and going, four years ago, and wondering if I would be pregnant forever. I didn't know that in four more days I would meet my baby and in five more days I would let him go again. What would we do if we knew beforehand of the suffering that about to come upon us?

I'm sure I'll be posting more in the coming days, but I wanted to share a few things. First, here is Matthias' story. I would be honored if you would read it if you haven't already, and share in his life and death with me.

Also, here is a photo montage of his brief life and images of his precious face:

Since Matthias' death, I have been receiving newsletters from a wonderful organization called M.E.N.D (Mothers Enduring Neonatal Death). A recent issue of their newsletter was about sibling grief and Grace wrote and submitted her thoughts on losing her brother. You can download the issue in pdf and read it here.

Lastly, I read today the blog of a family from our church who recently lost their only son at nine months old. Some of the events of little Micah's death reminded me of when Matthias died, such as having to make the decision to remove life support and then holding your son as his spirit leaves his body. My heart goes out to these bereft parents as they struggle through their grief. Would you take a moment to read about their sweet Micah, say a prayer for them and perhaps send them a word of encouragement?

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.

And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
~2 Corinthians 1:3-7

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