Blogging Break

As our school year gets under way along with the activities and commitments that brings with it, time for blogging is seriously lacking. So to all (three) of my faithful readers, please attempt to find something else as interesting, informative and entertaining as "Tending the Home Fires" to fill your blog-reading time until I'm back from my hiatus. I know that will be difficult, but try. :)

Before I go, here's some of what we'll be doing for school (4th grade) this year:

Our core is Middle Ages History (and hopefully getting to the Renaissance/Reformation) through Winter's Promise Publishing. It is a literature-based curriculum which follows the Charlotte Mason educational philosophy. In other words we reads LOTS of great books about the Middle Ages, do lots of hands-on activities like making an illuminated book and a coat of arms, use timelines extensively, learn a lot about geography, and tie it all together through Notebooking. Fun! And educational! So although it's "history", this also covers literature, geography, art & art history.

For Math we are using Math-U-See for the second year, after switching from Saxon. Nothing wrong with Saxon, per-se (in fact, I loved Saxon Math when I was being homeschooled), but it just didn't work for Grace. So we switched curriculum, which I love about homeschooling. If something isn't working, change it! Anyway, Math-U-See is outstanding, especially if you have a child who needs to see a concept (like place value) in order to grasp it. They have an outstanding free demo DVD, if you are interested in checking it out.

Our Language Arts program is called The Phonics Road to Spelling and Reading. This curriculum is incredible, but it is beyond me to review it here and now. Here are two great reviews: The Old Schoolhouse and HomeSchoolReviews. If you are homeschooling or thinking about it, I would give this comprehensive program my highest endorsement.

The only part of The Phonics Road that we are deviating on is Handwriting. They use traditional manuscript handwriting and I am a big fan of teaching Italic Handwriting. I love the Getty-Dubay Italic Handwriting curriculum and I truly believe it is the easiest and prettiest way to write! For an example, go here and check out their comparison of 5 handwriting styles. It's really cool. Grace just had two people compliment her on her beautiful handwriting at church the other day, so I know it works. :)

We are switching things up with our Bible curriculum this year, so I'm not sure what that is going to look like yet.

Science, Art and Phy Ed are all being taught by "real" teachers at our homeschool co-op this year.

That's about it, besides tons of fun and educational field trips throughout the year. I'm looking forward to another year of learning at home with my kids.

Let me leave you with a few of my favorite homeschoolers and homeschool blogs:

Our Homeschool by a mom I don't know personally but who has a great post on Schooling in Chaos to which I can seriously relate.

I love In The Heart of My Home. If you just take the time to read her sidebars it will be worth your while, to say nothing of reading her posts! She's great.

I use the Handbook of Nature Study blog to incorporate fun science learning into our days. Really fun, whether or not you're homeschooling! "Our family's online nature journal using Anna Comstock's book Handbook of Nature Study as our textbook and the great outdoors as our classroom. Home of the Outdoor Hour Challenges."

Home Schoolin' Mamas. Very good, especially for younger elementary learners or those just starting out.

Preschoolers and Peace. Need I say more?

I have lots more that I enjoy, I'm out of time. Leave me a comment if you have a favorite homeschooling site or blog! Have a blessed autumn!

Knowing Your Basic First Aid Techniques Comes In Handy

Last night as we were sitting at the table eating dinner (turkey burgers and fruit), Richard choked on his food. Choked as in couldn't breathe or cough.

So I performed the Heimlich Maneuver on him. Successfully. No panicking, no screaming, just a couple swift abdominal thrusts and some hard smacks on the back, and he was free of that pesky piece of food lodged in his throat.

That's right. I just saved my husband's life.

Grace, of course, was traumatized and laying with her head in her arms sobbing at the table. We reassured her that everything was fine, yes it was scary but God had protected us, and isn't it a good thing we've watched "What About Bob" so many times? I told her if my initial methods had failed, I would have had Papa lay on the couch so she could jump on his back. That got a weak smile.

Moses' only comment was "Loud," in reference to Richard's subsequent hacking and coughing.

Judah, who had been sitting on Richards lap when the choking began and then had been set on the floor, took the opportunity to head straight to the dog dishes, which he loves but never gets to play with. Well last night he got to splash around in the dog water to his heart's content, totally oblivious to the serious nature of the events happening around him.

We finished our meal in a mostly composed manner, except that Richard and I both had somewhat shaky hands. It was quite an adrenaline rush. We just looked at each other from across the table and said, wow. That was crazy.

So now I'm thinking, how many Starbuck's lattes do you think I earned, saving Richard's life last night? Seems at least a year's worth is reasonable. Of course, saving Richard from choking is really in my own best interest, so maybe one could argue that the reward is having my husband here with me for (hopefully) many more years to come. But I'll still see if I can get a latte out of the deal.

:)

Also On The Subject of First Aid

Last week as Moses was running through the kitchen, he tripped on nothing and fell right onto the open baby gate's bottom latch. It's this little, thin, round piece of metal and it sliced him right under the lip. Anyone who's had or seen a face/head wound knows the bleed like the dickens, so it took me a while to find out where exactly he was injured in all the gushing blood and screaming.

The cut was not wide but looked pretty deep, and I thought perhaps it had gone all the way through his lip. I called my mom. Called Richard, asked him if he could leave work. He said he'd meet me at Urgent Care. So then I had to get the kids packed up and ready to sit at urgent care for who knows how long, and Moses was still screaming and howling and Grace was out riding her bike around the block and Judah was, well he was just lying quietly on the floor, so that was all right.

I went to the door, screamed as loud as I could for Grace, went back inside, turned on some cartoons and set Moses in front of the TV with a cold washcloth on his lip. He immediately stopped crying (I think he was so shocked at the TV being on in the middle of the day that all else paled in comparison.) Judah was still on his tummy on the floor where he had been before, so I packed a diaper bag and Grace came home and I got her to help me get Mo in the car, get a bottle of water, some snacks, Moses' shoes, some ice for his lip, etc. She also packed five story books, some colored pencils, a notebook, some stickers, a coloring book and a doll catalog.

Finally we were ready to go, so I scooped up Judah and saw why he had been so quiet this whole time. When Moses had fallen, he had dropped a half-eaten plum on the floor. Judah had crawled over and was going to town on it. It was only a little gross. So I figured, what the heck, washed it off and put it in one of those fruit holder mesh-bag-with-a-handle thingies for him to keep eating.

At the clinic, we were told that Moses could get a couple stitches or we could just let it heal on its own. With stitches the scar would be a tiny bit smaller, but that would also include going to Children's where Mo would be sedated and put in a straightjacket thing to get his face stitched. Hmmm. We'll go with the scar and skip the trauma.

So all in all, it turned out fine. We got frozen fruit bars for Moses to suck on to keep the swelling down and his lip has healed just fine. Actually, what looks worse in the huge bruise on his forehead from where he ran into the swing earlier that same morning.

Is this what I have to look forward to with boys??

Up At The Farm

We've been up at my parent's farm in Wisconsin for most of the week and will be heading up there again on Friday. They're getting ready to sell it and move to town, so there has been much work to do! Here's some of what we've been doing:






I'm hoping to post more about our time there in the days to come. Stay tuned!

The Joys of Having an Older Sister

Sometimes you have to be the baby princess who sleeps in the doll bed.

Babywearing, Part I: Bucket Babies

bucket baby
n. 1. a foal or calf nursed by hand; 2. an infant perceived to spend an excessive amount of time in a portable car seat.

Portable infant car seats. They're great for keeping your baby safe in the car, but how do they rate as infant carriers for outside the vehicle?

Most, if not all, parents have used these baby-containers-with-a-handle to tote an infant while out and about. Convenient, right? Baby goes in car seat, baby-in-car-seat goes in car, baby-in-car-seat goes into the store, baby-in-car-seat comes out of store, baby-in-car-seat goes back into the car. No unbuckling, rebuckling, strollers, nasty shopping cart baby holder, etc. But is it really that great for baby? And is it really that great for mom?

First, let's look at it from the mom's (dad's/caregiver's) perspective. Let's talk ergonomics. How do you usually carry the car seat? In one hand, bent kind of sideways so it doesn't bang into your legs, with your other arm stretched out for counter-balance. Yeah... not so good. Consumer Reports says that using an infant car seat to carry your baby "can be a killer on your wrists, elbow, lower back, and neck if you tote it by the handle or if you string it on your forearm like a handbag."

“The greater the horizontal distance from the weight you’re carrying to your torso, the more stress on your joints, discs, ligaments, and muscles,” says Mary Ellen Modica, a physical therapist at Schwab STEPS Rehabilitation Clinics in Chicago, IL. “It’s equivalent to walking around with three or four full paint cans in one hand--something most people wouldn’t do, but they’ll carry a car seat that way.”

A better way to carry the car seat is in front of you, with both hands on the handle, and close to your trunk and centered at your waist. However, just the repeated mechanics of removing/replacing the car seat with the infant in it causes a severe risk for back injury. Chiropractor Dr. Diane Benizzi DiMarco, in her article Post Partum and Beyond: Managing Back Pain in Women says,

The mother/caregiver who chooses to remove the entire car seat with child is exposed to aberrant posture and lifting motions. Removing the infant and car seat simultaneously is common when the infant is sleeping and does not transfer well out of the seat to a crib. It is also common to remove the infant within the car seat when the infant cannot hold its’ head erect or cannot sit up in a seat provided by a shopping [cart] or again, if the infant is a sleep. An infant who weighs 12-15 pounds and a car seat that weighs 10-15 pounds can impart excessive biomechanical stress to the spine. Mothers/caregivers normally lean over the back seat from the back car door, unlatch the seat and proceed to lift with outstretched arms, to carry the seat or place it where they intend. Continued repetition of this spinal abuse can result in spinal injuries including injury to the disc.

It seems that infant car seats are pretty rough on mom's body. Is there another way? Well, you could go this route. How about attaching the car seat to your body with a harness!

(If this seems incredibly bizarre to you, you'll enjoy this article at Thingamababy. She says, "Now, there are two types of parents reading this article. Some of you are looking at the product photo and thinking, 'Hmm, that's really interesting.' The other group is looking at that photo and thinking, 'What the hell is wrong with our society?'")

And really, is it that convenient to lug your baby around in a car seat? Before we got rid of our portable infant car seat in favor of one that our babies were much more comfortable in, I too used it from time to time to carry the babes in. So quick, so easy, he won't wake up... But he usually did wake up because both Moses and Judah HATED being in the portable car seat. Which would leave me to carry the baby in one arm while pushing a cart or carrying the stupid car seat in the other arm. If he did stay asleep, I was still left carting this unwieldy thing around, setting it down, picking it up in the other hand, and cursing myself for not just putting the baby in the sling.
Ah. The sling. Could this be the better way? Most moms who have forsaken the car seat carrier in favor of some sort of soft baby carrier would give a resounding YES! And although they can't say so themselves, I think the babies would agree.

One of the deepest needs of young babies is to be close to - i.e. in physical contact with - their mother. In The Vital Touch, one of my all-time favorite books on the importance of touch and infant development, author Sharon Heller says,

Does it make a difference how baby is transported? Judge for yourself. Carried, our infant experiences body warmth, frequent position change, deep pressure touch, containment, and rocking, to say nothing of the opportunities to balance her head, upright her posture, or use her muscles for clinging.

All this is lacking when the infant is carried in a car seat. Or stroller, for that matter.

As for all the variety of stimulation during carrying - the frequent kissing and stroking of hair, nose, cheeks, eyebrows, and forehead, the change of positioning, the rearrangement of clothing, the swaying side to side and back and forth - it all but disappears during wheeling.

There are other developmental worries for babies spending too much time in infant car seats.

For the young infant, they [car seats] offer too little restriction of movement; for the older infant, too much, especially in the trunk area. Explains Sandra Edwards, an occupational therapist..., neurological development progresses best in an environment that encourages opportunities to explore and experiment with movement. "Devices that restrict movement may deny the child important opportunities for sensorimotor development." Little wonder babies get restless when tied down in these seats and grapple to move about and to upright themselves.

Plastic infant seats are also stiff. Babies' soft, flexible bodies are suited to fold into the crook of an arm, nuzzle into a neck, enfold into a breast, not to press against rigid, unyielding surfaces. Infant seats are a particular problem for children at risk for motor delay, explains occupational therapist Patricia Wilbarger, since they position babies "so that the back muscles can become abnormally stiff."

This can then cause problems with muscle flexibility, as well as with muscle development. Babies carried in-arms "use their head, neck, and shoulder muscles to stabilize themselves and establish stronger trunk stability. Those muscles may develop sooner in babies who aren’t carried around in a car seat," says Consumer Reports.

Carrying also provides "vestibular" stimulation, that is, stimulation through motion. The vestibular apparatus is located in the inner ear and its job is to maintain equilibrium. When babies receive movement in all directions (up and down, back and forth, side to side), they learn to balance themselves and keep their heads and bodies in a neutral position - no small feat for a wobbly infant! When in parent's arms, babies receive all three of the types of movements they need to develop their vestibular system. Not so much in the plastic seat. (For a great in-depth look at the effects of vestibular deprivation, see Heller's chapter "Rock of Love" in her book The Vital Touch.)
So next time you're running to Target with your baby, consider tossing a soft baby carrier into your diaper bag and carrying your baby next to you instead of in the car seat. Your baby might wake up? Well there's a good chance the soothing motion of your walking, the sweet smell of your body and the familiar sound of your heartbeat will cause baby to drop peacefully back to sleep. There are plenty of comfortable, ergonomic, easy-to-use soft baby carriers on the market right now that are easily as convenient as hauling that darn car seat around, and waaay more beneficial for you and your baby. Here's one last plug:

The average Western infant gets touched 25 percent of the day or less. By nine months of age, touching time goes down to 16 percent of the day. In a model day care center, [researcher] Tiffany Field and colleagues found touch time to average only around 14 percent of the day for even young infants. As for actual holding time, between the ages of three weeks and three months, the average Western infant is carried a little more than two and a half hours a day.

Infant seats do nothing to promote attachment between mother and baby. The mother's body draws the baby into a pulsing circle of warmth, softness, and roundness that contains and cushions his shape in supple, receptive contours; that adjusts and adapts in sync with his turns, squirms, and stretches; that massages him with slow, fluid motions that vary his day and give rhythm to his existence. This cements the connection between mother and child; plastic containers do none of this. As such, they dramatically change the baby's sense of life and human relationships.

Grieving With Those Who Grieve

Thank you, dear friends, for your words of love, for remembering Matthias, for grieving with me during the past days. I have been comforted and buoyed during this bittersweet time by knowing that others remember my baby and love him too. It is a terrible thing to think that his life will be forgotten, that I will mourn for him alone. Thank you for being willing to enter into that grief with me and letting me know he is not forgotten.

I was incredibly blessed to see evidence that others had already been to his grave when we arrived there on Saturday (Elisa - thank you, dear sister!). Thank you for the notes, the calls, the comments, the hugs, the music played in his honor, and for just letting me share and talk about Matthias. That in itself means more than I can say. I know it can feel like "I don't know what to say", but just asking "how are you doing?" and listening to me answer is such a blessing. I am thankful for all of you who have been willing to "grieve with those who grieve."

I especially remembered those of you who were with us when Matthias died, who came to the hospital and held him, who ministered to us in our darkest hour, who stood with us as our baby breathed his last breath. Thank you. You willingly entered "a house of mourning" and that is a frightening thing to do. You all have a special part in Matthias' life.

I was reading over the pages of the guest book from Matthias' funeral and found myself saying, "wow, I didn't remember that so-an-so was there!" To all of you who came to his funeral to support us, to grieve for Matthias, to honor his short life, to thank the Lord for him - thank you. Even now, three years later, it encourages me to see all your names written down.

* * * * *

On Matthias' birthday, we were all able to go to his grave as a family and spend quite some time there. It soothes my spirit to be able to tend his little grave. I planted a miniature rose bush at his grave site (does anyone know anything about growing roses? I'd really like to keep this one alive!) and Grace helped water it and put mulch around it. Moses ran around the grassy field, laughing, and Judah just hung out with me. What a blessing all our children are!

We have a tradition of setting an extra place at the table on Matthias' birthday; a symbolic tribute to the little boy who is missing from our table. It is a poignant and sweet meal - we feel his absence acutely and try to imagine what it would be like to have him there.

I baked a special birthday cake to celebrate Matthias' life, and before we ate it we prayed that God would let Matthias know how much we love and miss him, and that we are celebrating and remembering him especially during this day. I think God does pass on our love to Matthias in heaven.

Three Years Gone, Forever In My Heart

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: when dearest ones depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then thou shall better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Do you think this song is right, that we know God's love and His heart better through the "vale of tears"? I think this is true, and I have experienced it profoundly. God showed His love to me when Matthias died in a way that could not have happened during times of ease and peace. I think that is what it means in Ecclesiastes when it says "It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting". God enters into our suffering with us and it is there that we truly see His heart.

* * * * * * *

I miss Matthias. It is still so terribly sad for me to think about his death. I still ache to hold him and be his mother. But I have been able to finally, in a real way, be glad that he is in Heaven instead of here with me. It took a long time. The thought of him being in Heaven did not bring me comfort while I was in the depths of my grief. The pain of my empty arms was so overwhelming, I just wanted him here. I wanted to hold my sweet, precious baby, and the fact that he was gone just consumed me.

Now, I'm better able to be sad for me, and be glad for him. I'm sad because I'm a mother with one of my children missing from my life, and that's painful. I'm sad because I had to say goodbye to my baby so soon. I'm sad because I'm not able to mother one of my children. That is a deep wound in my heart that I don't think will be completely healed until Heaven. (When Jesus fully repays from His own fullness all He takes away.)

But for Matthias, who is enjoying pleasures forever more at Jesus' right hand, I am thankful. He suffered very, very little on earth. He is experiencing a joy that I can't even begin to get my mind around. God let Matthias pass over the long, hard, dark road and enter into the joy His presence so quickly. For me, in one sense, that is sad; for Matthias that is beautiful, merciful love. Matthias has what I ultimately want for all my children! And for that I rejoice!

Now, instead of wishing Matthias were here with me, I am more able to think, "I wish I were with Matthias." So there is both joy and tears on this day, and both are good. Behold the kindness and severity of God.

.

From Daily Light, for August 11th &12th:



















That through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death. – Our Saviour Christ Jesus...abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. – He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. – When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: "Death, where is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of death is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. – Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion. – "Fear not...declares the LORD, for I am with you...Of you I will not make full end. I will discipline you in just measure." – "For a brief moment I deserted you, but with great compassion I will gather you. In overflowing anger for a moment I hid my face from you, but with everlasting love I will have compassion on you," declares the LORD, your Redeemer..."For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. "O afflicted one, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony,k and lay your foundations with sapphires." – We who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words.

HEB.2:14; 2 TIM. 1:10; ISA.25:8; I COR. 15:54-57; PS. 23:4; LAM. 3:31,32; JER. 46:28; ISA. 54:7-10; I THESS. 4:17,18.

We're So Glad You Came